Newcastle Stuff article Which member of the board wrote this old article? More disappearances in clubland this month, as the popular message -board of trance-masters Promise @ Foundation temporarily did away with their central discussion forum ‘Mission Control’. For the uninitiated, clubland message boards are where the vampires of the night-club hang out during the day (including yours truly I’m afraid), discussing issues of such lifechanging importance as ‘What is your favourite sweet?’, ‘Who’s the best dancer?’ (That’s not dancing my boy, that’s falling over with rhythm), and ‘Only five days till Fri – big hugggzz to all!’. Populated by faceless creatures with strange nicknames, the average message board will hold court to several generic types, the observance of which can give endless hours of amusement. And to your left we have the ‘Keen Young Clubber': Miss/Mr. Eager has just started going clubbing, thinks life is great, and could happily live on pharmaceuticals. Loving everyone, they dress to match their personality, bright, shiny and give you a headache. However, this phase doesn’t last long… watch as several months of partying takes its toll and they turn into ‘Schitzy Clubber’. Convinced everyone hates them, they’re often right, and tend to pop up in the early hours of Mon a.m., parading their paranoid tendencies in all their glory, and enjoy a vast range of prescription medication. Finally, there’s ‘Bitter & Twisted Old Clubber’: thinks they’ve seen and done it all, they enjoy reminiscing (i.e.boring) about the good ol’ days, and alternate between trying to pull or take the piss out of the youngsters. Erm, actually, this is all getting a bit close to home to be honest… ahem. Anyway, back to the point. For yes, I did have one. Apparently the board became a victim of its own success. It suffered invasions ranging from the cruel to the clueless, from other message boards dropping by for rucks; to insults being traded between old-skool members and new kids on the block - and out and out sabotage. All this resulted in the plug being pulled, leaving members with only specific forums for serious discussion on DJ/music-type issues, and space for irrelevance scrapped. Apparently the board will return soon. A condition of joining will involve a personality test to weed out the strange and deranged - which will hopefully have the knock on effect of less randoms at my house on Sat mornings, as all my after party plans will stay on the Q.T. (This again may not be strictly true). Hurry back message board, says I, coz even if you're not into the club or musical genre, its still nice to have access to like-minded peeps, as sometimes its seems that all around you are wearing check shirts, downing bottles of ‘Broon’ and heading off for a punch up @ Idols. That’s what I get for living in the West End, I guess. Alternatively, not sitting in front of my computer screen berating youngsters about what a great place clubland was 5 years ago (I can’t really remember), has given me a chance to plan the most overhyped night of the year: the dreaded 31st of December. Newcastle - and indeed the country as a whole - seems to have been sadly neglected by big name events this year, as everyone retreats into their shells and plans low key, members-based do’s. Vague rumours of a bash @ Leeds Town Hall involving the legends that are Underworld and Mr.Morrillo seems to be: (a)shrouded in secrecy, or (b) notactually happening, as no publicity abounds and it seems quite possible that I could have made it all up in a fit of desperation. Anyone who can confirm/deny this will receive the ultimate prize of my eternal devotion… well, till Feb at least. Failing that, I will sadly be taking my good self down to the wilds of Teesside, for a spot of Retro action at the UK biggest club, the one and only Tall Trees, now playing host to a fine selection of monthly Sat nights, including golden oldies fest ‘Retro’ and rave monkey mashup ‘Good Greef’. Having to mingle with the smogsters always sends a chill down my spine - with a few fine exceptions - but I am prepared to brave catalogue -wear, missspelt tattoos and steroid fuelled punch-ups (and that’s just the girls) in order to spend NYE being a bitter, twisted old clubber reliving my yoof. Then, come Jan, I can get back on the message board and bore everyone senseless about how it wasn’t as good as first time round… PS. Jane’s Pick of the Month. In view of NYE being cancelled, Royksopp @ Northumbria Uni is where I will be unofficially bringing in 2003, a little early mind you as they’re on the 15/12. At least the hangovers should be cleared up in time for Xmas day
haha that was round about the time of the first wave of randoms Glitter Angel and co GOOD TIMES DR HARDHOUSE
