Argh Help ... These are all GENUINE replies from patients asked why they needed an ambulance to and from hospital... => I am under the doctor and cannot breathe. => I can't walk to the bus stop and my wife is bent. => I can't breathe and haven't done so for many years. => I want transport as bus drivers do funny things to me and make me feel queer. => I am blind in one eye and my leg. => I live five miles from the hospital and the postman says I should have it. => I have got arthritis and heart failure in both feet and knees. => I must have a man as I cannot go out or do up my suspenders. => I cannot walk up a hill unless it is down and the hill to the hospital is up. => My husband is dead and will not bring me. => I cannot drive a car as I have not got one. => I hope you will send a man as my husband is quite useless. => I can come at any time to suit you, but not mornings as I don't feel too good. I can't come on Mondays or Wednesdays as the home help comes, and not on Fridays as the baker calls for his money. I can't come on Tuesdays as my sister calls.