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Calories !

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Auz, Apr 9, 2002.

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  1. Auz

    Auz

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    Calories !

    It has been known for many years that sex is good exercise,
    but until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the
    caloric expenditure of different sexual activities.
    Now after original and proprietary research they are
    proud to present the results.

    REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
    With her consent....................... 12 Calories
    Without her consent.................... 187 Calories

    OPENING HER BRA:
    With both hands........................ 8 Calories
    With one hand.......................... 12 Calories
    With your teeth........................ 85 Calories

    PUTTING ON A PRESERVATIVE:
    With an erection....................... 6 Calories
    Without an erection.................... 315 Calories

    PRELIMINARIES:
    Trying to find the clitoris............ 8 Calories
    Trying to find the G-Spot.............. 92 Calories

    POSITIONS:
    Missionary............................. 12 Calories
    69 lying down.......................... 78 Calories
    69 standing up......................... 112 Calories
    Wheelbarrow............................ 216 Calories
    Doggy Style............................ 326 Calories
    Italian chandelier..................... 912 Calories

    ORGASMING:
    Real................................... 112 Calories
    False.................................. 315 Calories

    POST ORGASM:
    Lying in bed hugging................... 18 Calories
    Getting up immediately................. 36 Calories
    Explaining why you got out of bed immediately......816 Calories

    GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
    20-29 years old........................ 36 Calories
    30-39 years............................ 80 Calories
    40-49 years............................ 124 Calories
    50-59 years............................ 972 Calories
    60-69 years............................ 2916 Calories
    70 and over......................... Results are still pending

    DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:
    Calmly................................. 32 Calories
    In a hurry............................. 98 Calories
    With her father knocking at the door... 1218 Calories
    With your wife knocking at the door.... 3521 Calories
    Auz, Apr 9, 2002
    #1
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  3. DEXTA

    DEXTA Registered User

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    LMAO @ putting on a preservative:p :p :p Neva heard them called that b4:D :D

    Was gona join the gym but after reading this......................................................:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :p
    DEXTA, Apr 9, 2002
    #2
  4. magicpaul

    magicpaul Registered User

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    Re: Calories !

    oh come on it's more difficult than that.... :p
    magicpaul, Apr 9, 2002
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  5. Auz

    Auz

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    LOL :p
    Auz, Apr 9, 2002
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  6. DEXTA

    DEXTA Registered User

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    Re: Re: Calories !

    LMAO!!! Should be

    Fiddlin around for ages tryin to get the damm clip open...................................................10000000 calories

    Givin up and just ripin the damm thing off............................................................1 Calorie

    :p :p :p :p
    DEXTA, Apr 9, 2002
    #5
  7. B.O.B.

    B.O.B. Registered User

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    Re: Calories !

    Isn't it more fun to dress up before?
    B.O.B., Apr 9, 2002
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  8. Auz

    Auz

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    Re: Re: Calories !

    well........... :rolleyes: we will leave that up to personal choice :D
    Auz, Apr 9, 2002
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  9. magicpaul

    magicpaul Registered User

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    Re: Re: Re: Calories !

    yeah these things are never as easy as they look are they! :p
    magicpaul, Apr 9, 2002
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  10. DEXTA

    DEXTA Registered User

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    Re: Re: Re: Re: Calories !

    IDEA *LIGHTBULB* How bout they just use velcro!!!!
    DEXTA, Apr 9, 2002
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  11. Auz

    Auz

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    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Calories !

    Is that for the Hulk Hogan style of ripping it off in the heat of the moment ? lol :D :p
    Auz, Apr 9, 2002
    #10
  12. magicpaul

    magicpaul Registered User

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    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Calories !

    no i think they do them like that on purpose to make mens lives difficult. :p
    magicpaul, Apr 9, 2002
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  13. Guest

    nice one auz now i know why im sooooo skinny no matter how much i eat. *leaves to go to next bedroom session*
    , Apr 9, 2002
    #12
  14. Auz

    Auz

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    Ha Ha

    Steve is a right Don Huan :) Never leaving the bedroom and Cooking LilJem Chicken Tikka Massala's :D
    Auz, Apr 9, 2002
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  15. Guest

    gota keep them happy and ull live happily ever after in all departments
    , Apr 9, 2002
    #14
  16. Rozz

    Rozz Registered User

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    LMFAO!!!! No more work grueling workouts for me, i didnt realise that when it comes to calorie control u could keep trim and enjoy yerself. YAY!!!!!!!!! sex more often! lol.
    Rozz, Apr 9, 2002
    #15

  17. Guest


    hahaha lmao shhhhhh dont say these things lol:D ;) :p
    , Apr 9, 2002
    #16
  18. DoctorMick

    DoctorMick Registered User

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    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Calories !

    It works!!! I still can't work out how the fook women manage to unclip them with such ease!!!
    DoctorMick, Apr 9, 2002
    #17
  19. B.O.B.

    B.O.B. Registered User

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    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Calories !

    Practice, darling, practice!
    B.O.B., Apr 9, 2002
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  20. Sleepy

    Sleepy Registered User

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    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Calories !

    Unfortunately he cant practice that much - see the shops close at about 9 and the security guards wont leave him alone with the manuquin's!!! :D :D :D

    i dont expect to have spelled manuquins right either :D
    Sleepy, Apr 9, 2002
    #19
  21. AKIRA

    AKIRA

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    oh come on ladz...it aint that hard 2 do!!!!!!!! one handed even........... any volunteerz an ill prove it!!!!!! i aint neva tryd doin it wiv mi teeth so i cant comment on that one :D :D
    AKIRA, Apr 9, 2002
    #20
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