Joke A bloke was on his way into work this morning when came to a dead halt in traffic. He thought to himself "Hmm...this traffic is much worse than usual; I wonder what's wrong..." He notices a Police Officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars so he rolls down his window and asks the Officer, "Excuse me...What's the hold up?" The Officer replies, "It's a Man Utd fan, he's depressed about losing the Premiership to Chelsea last season, being knocked out of Europe, losing in the FA Cup final, selling out to a Yank, winning bugger all after gobbing off all season AND Liverpool have won the European Cup. He says his family hates him and his mates are all laughing at him. He's threatening to douse himself in petrol and set himself on fire." "Jesus! So what happens now?" asked the driver. "I'm walking around taking a collection for him." replied the Officer. "Really?" says the bloke "How much have you collected so far?" "Not much, only about a litre, but a lot of people are still siphoning..."