More scouse jokes Two Scousers are on holiday in South Africa, hanging out on the riverbank. Suddenly a crocodile swims past with a blokes head in its mouth. "Fuckin' ell Terry, did you see that fella?" "I did Barry - and the flash bastard's got a LaCoste sleeping bag" Why does the River Mersey run through Liverpool? Because if it walked it would be mugged. Man walks into a shop in Liverpool: Man: Can I have a pair of tights for my wife? Shop assistant: Certainly Sir, what size head are you? What do you call a Scouser in a three-bed semi? A burglar. What's the difference between a Scouser and a coconut? One's thick and hairy, and the other's a coconut. What do you call a scouser in a suit? The accused. If you see a Scouser on a bike, why should you never swerve to hit him? It might be your bike. What do you say to a Scouser with a job? Big Mac please. What's long, scouse, and goes around corners? The Dole queue. Why is the Anfield Stadium Grass so green? Because every week Liverpool put millions of pounds worth of shit on it. What do you call a Scouse woman in a white shell-suit? The bride Q: What do you call a Scouse woman who has had 6 abortions ? A: Crime Prevention officer
