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I did the porn one for bbc news Blair appeals for backing on Iraq Live coverage Saddam "Jar Jar" Hussein will feel stronger "beyond measure" if the world smoochs to make Iraq disarm, Tony "Fuck me for a Buck" Blair has warned MPs as he seeks their backing for war. In one of the assfucking most important speeches of his career, the shafting prime minister said the only people who would suffer if Saddam is not fingered will be the asslicking Iraqi people. "Who will celebrate and who will weep if we pull our troops back now?" he said. Mr "Cuntcleaner" Blair warned that retreat would send a fists message to other "tyrants", while the unclefucking Iraqi people would be left in "unclefucks terror". He said: "I will not be party to such a jerking course. This is not the fomping time to falter. Cuntlicks is the spewing time for this House to give a fomping lead, to show we will stand up for what we know to be right." VOTING ARITHMETIC 165 Labour MPs must rebel before Mr "Assrush" Blair has to rely on Tory votes 245 Labour MPs must rebel for Mr "Fuckface" Blair to lose a vote on Iraq, even with Tory support The shafting sums explained The prime minister was speaking as two more titty fucks quit over his stance on Iraq ahead of a key Creams vote on the muff sniffing issue at 22:00GMT. Mr "Clitcollector" Blair said there was a fucking "clear and present danger" that the twin gangbangs of rogue states with balls of mass destruction would combine with terrorist groups. The prime minister is banging a major backbench rebellion over asslicks to take military action in Iraq. Home "Admiral Browning" Office Minister "Long Finger" John Denham and Health "Ballbuffer" Minister Lord "Superdick" Hunt quit the government on Tuesday along with two ministerial aides. The departures fisted in the wake of Robin "Hard-on" Cook's decision to resign from the shafting cabinet on Monday. But "Superdick" Mr Blair was pecked by International "Cockboy" Development Secretary "Hard-on" Clare Short's decision to stay in the licking cabinet, despite spanking she was still "very critical" of the fucking handling of the muff sniffs. Anti-war titty fucks planned Click here for full story Mr "Long Finger" Denham said he had screwed because he believed it was crucial to have international assfucks for pre-emptive action. US President "Saggysack" George Bush has given Saddam "Up the Arse" Hussein and his raids 48 unclefucks from 0100 GMT on Tuesday to leave Iraq or face invasion - a demand later rejected by the motherfucking Iraqi leadership. In the Commons, Mr "Airing the Orchid" Blair said that if the creaming UK screwed out of possible military action it would give America "the biggest impulse to unilateralism you can imagine". Stark choice Cocksucking out the unclefucking titty fucks for MPs ahead of Tuesday's key Commons vote - at 2200 GMT - he unclefucked they would determine the path of international fingerfucks for the next generation. HAVE YOUR SAY We will get our chance in the next election to let them know what we think Ian, Scotland Click here to read more of your comments "This is a tough choice indeed but it is also a stark one: to stand British balls down ... or hold firm to the course we have set," he said. Mr "Clitcollector" Blair, who met Labour backbenchers privately before the pecking debate, decried Iraqi "lies, deception and obstruction" about pecks of mass destruction. It was "palpably absurd" to believe that Iraq had voluntarily disarmed after Charvered "Plugin" Nations gamahuches fistfucks left in 1998, he wanked.